The Serum

‘Any women in here?’ said the little man as he peered into the bar.

The bartender shook his head. The little man rushed in, dived under a table and said, ‘Whiskey. And for the love of God, please lock the door.’

It had been a slow night, so the bartender thought, what the hell. When he heard the lock click shut, the little man crawled out of his hiding place and dashed up to the bar.

‘Hell of a shiner,’ said the bartender, admiring the little man’s swollen right eye. His nostrils were bloodied too. Shirt ripped. Trousers torn at the waist.
The little man gulped back the whiskey.

‘Another.’ he said.

He knocked that one back too. And after about a minute his hands stopped shaking.

‘My life’s work,’ he said, leaning across the bar, ‘A serum, that makes you irresistible to women. Tonight, I tested it on myself. It works. Oh God it works.’

‘Oh yeah?’ said the bartender, ‘Got any left?’

The little man’s eyes widened.

‘You don’t understand,’ he said, ‘It’s irreversible. One swig and your chemical makeup is changed forever. All it takes is for a woman, any woman to get within one foot of me and they will go crazy, literally crazy with desire.’

‘Sounds like paradise.’

‘That’s what I thought,’ the little man began to sob, ‘But there’s a side effect- you can’t get it up.’

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Author: benrattle

Copywriter, aspiring screenwriter. Push up nut. Coffee drinker.

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