To Swear or Not to Swear…

Okay, so anyone who spends more than a few minutes in my company will soon get onto the fact that I love a bloody good swear.

Fuck this. Fuck that- that’s me, Leary Mc’sweary.

But did you know that swearing is actually good for you?

No shit man.

It lowers blood pressure. Relieves pain. Makes you feel stronger, helps to manage stress.

Fuck yeah. Even typing this is chilling me the shit out.

But despite all these (medically proven) benefits, recently I’ve started to notice that people just aren’t fucking swearing like they used too.  In fact, on a few occasions now, I’ve dropped an ‘F’ bomb only to be met with an awkward silence, a tightening of the lips and an unmistakable air of disapproval.

What the pig shitting twat is going on?

Is swearing going the way of lunch time drinking-somehow no longer acceptable, uncool and uncouth?

If so, why the fuck has no one told me?

Bollocks.

I’d love to know what you think.

So don’t be a cunt. Get in touch and let me know. 

Cool Ass Kitsch

As a recovering HOARDER with a tendency to fill my living space with ten tonnes of CRAP, I generally try to stay away from buying ornaments.

But then the other day I saw this a charity shop:

rsz_1bill

 

And well, yeah…

Now, clearly, this priceless piece of bric a brac is a Bill Clinton nesting doll.

Well, who do you think is inside?

rsz_monica

Ta da! Monica Lewinski. At least I think it is. Although it does look a bit like Geena Davies.

It’s not Geena Davies though, is it?

Moving on. The next doll is:

rsz_fuckknows

Uh, okay, so I’m not actually sure exactly who this is meant to be. I’m guessing either Anjelica Huston or Hilary Clinton.

rsz_fuckknows2

Or is this Hilary Clinton? But then who’s the other one? Is this even a woman?

Oh God, it’s so confusing. If you know the answer please get in touch (mainly ’cause I’m going to be flogging this on Ebay and it will help with the listing description)

Moving on. One doll left. Drum roll please…

rsz_cigarturd

It’s a turd…

Okay, so we all know it’s not really a turd.

Oh man, did this make me chuckle.

Please, tell me I’m not the only one who finds this amusing.

Anyway here they all are. On parade. A parade of shame baby, yeah.

rsz_allofthemwitches

Love it.

I think they should do a Tony Blair one: Blair, Bush, Saddam Hussein, loads of dead Iraqi’s, until finally, the last doll is an invisible weapon of mass destruction.

I’d buy that.