Return to Nature

Let’s get back to nature, said city boy in his suit.

Smash up our phones,

Burn down our homes.

We’ll live in the wild: no clothes. Just mud.

Make spears out of branches- fight to fuck.

The chicks will do the breeding,

We’ll supply the meat.

Imagine: no bills. No shite-

Just survival of the fittest.

He said, You with me? His eyes burned bright.

I said,

Mate. We wouldn’t last two minutes,

I’m not wiping my arse on moss.

And our feet would get all blistered. Besides, X Factor’s on.